There is a difference between not knowing who you are...
& knowing exactly who you are but learning somewhere along the way that certain pieces of you would be safer hidden.

Desi wasn't lost.
She had learned to hide.
& that distinction became one of the most powerful threads running through her entire Muse Experience.

When Desi reflected on her younger years, she talked about being insecure about her body & her style.

She wore sweatshirts.
Jeans.
She tried to conform.

There were parts of herself she didn't fully express because she worried about what people might think, what they might say, or how they might label her.

Later, an unhealthy relationship added another layer.

Desi described that season very simply:
It took her voice away.

Yet even while she felt silenced, pieces of her remained.

She found herself in her plants.
Her books.
Her clothes.
The things she loved.

The little choices that quietly said:
I'm still here.

That's what makes Desi's story so powerful!
Because her journey wasn't about discovering some completely different woman buried underneath everything.

It was about finally giving herself permission to stop denying the woman who had been there all along!

She Wasn't Lost. She Had Learned to Hide.

During our conversation, Desi said something that stopped me:
"I've always known who I am, but I'm kind of just coming into it... I'm not denying who I am anymore."

THAT!

How many women know that feeling?

You know there is more personality in you.

More expression.
More opinions.
More creativity.
More boldness.
More softness.
More sexuality.
More weirdness.
More LIFE.

But somewhere along the way, you learned to edit.

Maybe somebody didn't like who you were.
Maybe you were called too much.
Maybe you worried about being judged.
Maybe a relationship taught you that keeping the peace was easier than using your voice.
Maybe you became incredibly good at reading the room before deciding which version of yourself was safe to bring into it.

Eventually, hiding can become so familiar that we mistake it for who we are!

Desi's journey challenged that.
Because she wasn't creating a new identity.

She was removing some of the rules around the one she already had!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7dnPs2EQTNZvVLnHOj8qT7?si=uiEJrhqSRVuXtCSvYuzgrQ

Healing Didn't Mean Becoming Somebody Else

By the time Desi entered the Muse Experience, she was already in a different season of her life.

She was navigating change.
Healing.
Relationships.
Her own growth.

& something had shifted.

She was becoming increasingly comfortable saying:
This is who I am.

She talked about moving away from needing everyone else's validation.

Someone could disagree with her & it didn't automatically mean she had to convince them.
Someone could have a different opinion & it didn't mean there had to be a fight.

She could pause.
Consider.
Decide whether something deserved her energy.

She could even be wrong without turning that into shame.

That's self-trust!

Not believing you're always right.

Believing you can trust yourself enough to navigate what happens when you're not.

& that's a very different kind of confidence than simply walking into a room looking like you've got it all together.

It's quieter.
Deeper.
More grounded.

It's being able to say:
I know who I am, even when you don't agree with me.

"Can I Be Seen Without Being Sexualized?"

Then came another layer of Desi's Muse journey:
The photoshoot.

Desi had real uncertainty about boudoir photography.

She'd seen images that felt overly perfected.
Posed.
Sexualized.

Images that could make a woman wonder whether she's supposed to become some polished, unrealistic version of herself before she's "ready" to be photographed that way.

& she wanted the experience to mean something different.

Because empowerment photography, at least the way I practice it, isn't about creating an image for someone else's consumption.

It's about giving a woman an opportunity to experience herself!

Her body.
Her expression.
Her personality.
Her softness.
Her strength.
Her story.

Desi talked about understanding that this wasn't about exploiting herself or trying to sexually entice someone.

It was something she was choosing for herself!

& that's an important conversation because there may be another woman reading this right now thinking:
I don't know if boudoir is me.

Maybe the version you've seen isn't.
Maybe you don't need someone else's version.

You Don't Just Choose the Photograph. You Choose the Person Behind the Camera.

Desi made one of my favorite comparisons during our conversation.

Choosing a photographer, she explained, can be a lot like choosing a tattoo artist.

You're not simply looking at whether someone technically knows how to create the thing.
You're looking for the artist who can create what you're actually seeking.

That matters enormously when you're allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

Desi told me that if a different photographer had asked her to do this, she didn't think she would have said yes.

Trust mattered.
Familiarity mattered.
Feeling understood mattered.

Because being photographed this intimately isn't simply:
Stand here.
Turn your head.
Put your hand there.
Smile.

For Desi, we intentionally built the experience around her.

The Pinterest board beforehand helped her visualize what she wanted.

We incorporated pieces of her actual life.

Her style!
Her interests!
Her belongings!
Her personality!
Her!

She expected she might have to try really hard during the photoshoot.

Instead, she discovered she could simply be there!

The Photographs Showed Her More Than Her Body

This is where empowerment photography becomes difficult to explain until you've experienced it.

Yes, Desi saw her body.

But she also saw...
Her expressions.
Her eyes.
Her interests.
Her confidence.
Her personality.

The woman behind all of it.

The things she had preserved through the years weren't random details anymore.

They were part of the visual story.

Her books.
Her plants.
Her clothing.

The pieces that had quietly helped her hold onto herself during seasons when expressing herself hadn't always felt safe.

They belonged in the photographs because they belonged to her.

& when you're used to picking yourself apart in photographs, seeing an image that feels unmistakably like you can be confronting in the best way.

The goal isn't:
"Look how perfect I look."

It's:
"There I am."

That's the evidence!

Not evidence that you suddenly became beautiful.
Not evidence that you're worthy now.

Evidence that you allowed yourself to show up without hiding all the pieces you once believed needed to disappear!

Self-Trust Changes More Than the Way You See a Photograph

One of my favorite parts of Desi's story is that the conversation didn't stay inside the photoshoot.

Because confidence isn't particularly useful if it only exists when the lighting is good.

What matters is how you carry yourself when you leave!

Desi talked about becoming more aware of her reactions in everyday situations.

Pausing.
Thinking.
Taking accountability.
Recognizing when something deserves her energy & when it doesn't.
Understanding that disagreement doesn't automatically equal disrespect.

She described a kind of pride that wasn't about believing she was better than anyone else.

It included being able to say:
I can be wrong.
I can learn.
I can change my mind.
I can still trust myself.

That's powerful because self-trust isn't built by eliminating every uncomfortable emotion.

It's built by knowing you can meet yourself inside of them!

"I Have Power."

This is the heartbeat of Desi's story.

For a woman who had experienced a relationship where she felt her voice had been taken away...

For a woman who remembered hiding her body...
Changing her clothes...
Trying to conform...
Worrying about labels...

There is something incredibly significant about arriving at:
I have power.

Not power over someone else.

Personal power!

The ability to decide.
To speak.
To choose.
To express.
To say yes.
To say no.
To change.
To be wrong.
To take up space.
To be seen.

& perhaps most importantly...

To stop handing someone else the authority to decide who she gets to be!

From "What If?" to "Why Not?"

There will always be reasons to wait!

What if I don't like the pictures?
What if I feel awkward?
What if people judge me?
What if I'm not confident enough?
What if I need to lose weight first?
What if this isn't "me"?
What if I spend the money & regret it?
What if I'm not ready?

But eventually, another question becomes available:
Why not?

Why not wear the thing?
Why not publish the book?
Why not tell the story?
Why not use your voice?
Why not take the photograph?
Why not allow yourself to see what everyone else keeps telling you they see?
Why not you?

You don't have to eliminate every fear before you act.

Sometimes you act while the fear is sitting right there beside you!

& then you have something you didn't have before.

Evidence!
Evidence that you did it.
Evidence that you survived being seen.
Evidence that you can trust yourself!
Evidence you can't unsee.

Being Seen Creates a Ripple

There's one final piece of the Muse Experience that matters deeply to me.

Your story doesn't end at your reveal.

After you've had an opportunity to explore who you are through coaching...
After you've allowed yourself to be witnessed through photography...

There's your voice!

Desi sat down with me for an authentic conversation about what she'd lived, what she'd learned, what she was still figuring out, & who she was becoming.

Because there is power in hearing yourself say the things you've only carried internally.

& there is another kind of power in allowing someone else to hear them too!

One woman's willingness to say:
"I've felt that."

can become another woman's:
"Wait... me too."

That's why visibility isn't just about attention!
It's about connection!!!

When we allow ourselves to be seen honestly, somebody else gets permission to stop believing she's the only one.

Desi's story doesn't need to be your story.

But maybe something inside hers helps you recognize something inside yours.

Healthy Headspace 💛

Maybe you don't need to find yourself.
Maybe you know exactly who you are.
Maybe you've simply spent years deciding which pieces were acceptable enough to show.

The woman underneath those edits hasn't disappeared.

She's still there!

In the things you love.
In the opinions you swallow.
In the clothes you wish you'd wear.
In the boundaries you want to set.
In the photographs you avoid.
In the story you haven't told.
In the voice you're learning to trust again.

You don't need to become someone else to live more fully!

Maybe the next chapter is allowing yourself to stop denying the woman you've already become.

To see her!
Hear her.
Trust her.

& let her be known!

🎙️ Hear Desi's Full Story on the Choose On Purpose Podcast

Desi's Muse conversation was too layered for one episode, so you can hear her story across two parts:
🎧 Episode 170, Part 1: From Surviving to Fully Alive: Desi's Journey of Faith, Identity & Courage

Hear Desi talk about identity, relationships, faith, finding her voice, the parts of herself she preserved through difficult seasons, & what it meant to begin owning who she'd always known herself to be.

🎧 Episode 171, Part 2: From Self-Doubt to Self-Trust: Desi on Vulnerability, Personal Power & Being Fully Seen

Continue the conversation as we explore vulnerability, empowerment photography, body image, self-trust, personal power, & what changed when Desi gave herself permission to be fully seen.

What Could Change If You Gave Yourself Permission to Be Seen, Heard & Known?

The Muse Experience isn't for the woman who already feels completely confident.

You don't need to arrive fearless.
You don't need to know exactly what you'll wear.
You don't need to love every part of your body.
You don't need to have your story perfectly packaged.
You don't even need to know exactly who you'll be on the other side.

You simply need to be honest about wanting something more for yourself!

Through intentional coaching, your personalized empowerment photography experience, your reveal, & the opportunity to use your voice, we create something much bigger than beautiful photographs.

We create evidence you can't unsee!

Evidence of the woman who's already there.

If you're ready to stop hiding pieces of yourself & begin experiencing what it feels like to be seen, heard & known...

✨ Apply for the Muse Experience.

Let's begin with a conversation about the woman you're becoming.